As I See It

As a professional working with people on the Autism Spectrum, I always have mixed feelings when I see a new TV show or movie about people with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I'm hopeful that they will represent what Autism can be like, the challenges, the wonders, and the blessings that can come with such a diagnosis. I wonder what people with ASD think and feel when they watch the shows. Will they feel understood? Do the characters reflect a truth about their lives? I hope that it will help neurotypical people (who don't have a neurological diagnosis) understand more and appreciate people with ASD. I fear it will put individuals with ASD in another box and further increase the "other" experience that they go through.

I've just started watching the TV show on Amazon Prime called "As We See It". I'm only a few episodes in but this one feels all the feels. It tells the story of 3 roommates living with ASD and their aide who works to support their goals of living independently away from their families. As with all individuals with ASD, they are just that - individuals with different strengths, interests, and challenges.

I'm already falling in love with these characters. I see many of my clients in their stories, and feel my investment in the pursuit of their dreams and the crushing blows when they stumble. As I work mainly with children, I worry that even the most capable of my clients will struggle like these characters do.

My heart fell for Harrison. He is a loveable young man who fears the outside world due to the sensory overload he experiences (loud vehicles, people rounding the corner in his path, and dogs on every corner). His world is small as he struggles to step out the front door. Attempts at friendship are stymied by societal assumptions that are painful to watch. It makes me so sad to see these moments of rejection. I know from personal experience that fear of the unknown makes so many of us shut out the good within people like Harrison. He is clearly hurt by these dismissals, but he perseveres in his attempt to have a friend in ways that make me want to cheer him on. Meanwhile, I wait anxiously for the next rejection he will surely face.

Then there's Violet. She is so different from Harrison. She is outgoing, eager to make friends. She is highly interested in men, but has never had a boyfriend. Although people encourage her to find love among her "peers", she just wants to be "normal". Any kindness by a man is perceived by Violet as a possible love interest. She reads the signals all wrong and way oversteps people's comfort zones that you can't help but cringe. She tries so hard to find love but has no idea how to do that. Her brother, Van, is terrified that Violet will be taken advantage of and hurt due to her trust in kindness. When she defies the "rules" her makes for her, he struggles to allow her to live her life while keeping her safe. Is there hope for Violet to find someone who will understand and appreciate all of her quirks and love her for more than her beauty? Can she find agency in living her own dreams? Should she? These are the real questions families face in this world of ASD.

Finally, there's Jack. Jack is an extremely intelligent young man who sees the world in black and white. To him, there is a correct way to do things and he dismisses those who don't understand his point of view. To many people, he is seen as arrogant and unfeeling because he has no filter and has no problem telling people his honest opinion of them. He is so smart, yet he does not understand what other people's point of view may be and that it is important for him to consider it. His father is his main support but as he ages his Dad knows he can't always be there for him. Jack understands this and knows he needs to find greater independence. Yet, he can't seem to stop himself from making people so angry at him for being so focused on his expectations of the world. People around him are drawn to his intelligence, hard work, and passion, but he stumbles and tests their willingness to put up his harsh view of the world. Underneath it all, Jack cares deeply about his close circle of people but doesn't know how to show it.

To add depth to this story, there is Mandy. The home "aide" who has been hired by the families of Harrison, Violet, and Jack. Mandy is an intelligent young woman with a passion for each of these 3 young adults. She understands how to reach them in ways that their families struggle (though nothing is ever perfect in this home). She has dreams for her future to pursue her passions in Autism research and yet has to decide to what extent she will commit to the lives of these young adults. Her personal story and her dedication are things I have seen so many times among the wonderful staff I have been blessed to work along side with in my work. She sees in her charges their amazing hearts and abilities and nurtures them to reach their potential. She is the guide in our journey as we watch this story unfold. She helps us see the beauty that comes with their Autism.

One of my challenges with this show is that despite the struggles they face, these 3 young adults are lucky enough to have family who are there trying to support them and can afford a live in aide. Adult services throughout our country is very much lacking for those like Harrison, Violet, and Jack who might not be eligible for support because of their strengths in intelligence or ability to have jobs. I wish for my clients an adulthood where there is someone like Mandy who really loves and commits to the people she cares for.

The writer of this series, Jason Katims, clearly writes from a place of love which most likely comes from having a son on the Autism Spectrum. The casting involved choosing individuals who are on the Autism Spectrum to play these 3 complex characters. It was important to Katims that it be a genuine representation of life on the Spectrum. There is a strong movement among many Autism advocates who feel we, the public, need to hear the stories of ASD from people with Autism. That the world needs to change to allow those with ASD to find their place. This is one of the first attempts on screen that I've seen that is at least trying to get this right.

I'm still braced for the possibility that the writer or producer will get this story wrong and pigeon hole people with ASD, but so far I am touched by their stories. Tissues have been flowing, and laughter has been rising. I'm in for the ride and hope that people can see what I get to see in my work with my clients with ASD. They are people; they are individuals with challenges (much like the rest of us), who bring us amazing gifts from themselves. They need understanding, appreciation, and patience from a world that ever so slowly is learning to accept them.

I say watch As We See It and see if you can find a little bit of the wonder that I find in my connections with my clients (and others close to me) with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I think you'll be glad that you opened yourself up to their amazing worlds.

---

Counseling with Leigh Anne - a Teachers Pay Teacher store offering materials for mindfulness practice, expressive arts, and therapeutic approaches like ACT/CBT.